That's right, I do indeed live.  Sadly nothing has changed, aside from the size of my breasts and belly and my ass and my ankles and my feet and my... body.

I found out a few weeks ago that this thing growing in my body and kicking my kidneys is going to be a little boy.  Through very little negotiation and alot of bickering and pissing and moaning about boy names, we have decided to call him Jordan.

I've managed to accumulate a few things for the baby through a few generous handouts, but sadly with no job... getting stuff together is kinda rough and frankly I'm worried about finding everything I need in time.  His father is still in the process of finding stable permanent work which is another bitch session in and of itself.  I got a really cute newborn carseat that was used for maybe all of a month for free from someone on Craigslist and a close friend bought me a kick ass Fisher-Price baby bouncer that vibrates and plays music and such.  I've got about 20 lil newborn and 3-6 month outfits that are so adorable... gotta love Baby Gap... and beyond that... ummm. 

I dream about him nightly, I lay around rubbing my belly alot and worry about his future and try to imagine who he will be.  My boobs are swollen, sting and are getting the crusty crap, it hurts to walk and move and I pee so often I can barely keep up with replenishing the fluids.  Sleeping comes in 2 hour incriments and I do belive I've more luggage 'round my eyes than Louis Vitton.  And somewhere in all this I'm told it's all worth it.  Bee, tell me it's worth it please.

My relationship with the baby's father continues to be a bit rocky and unpredictable, though we had a pretty plesant date last night that followed a horrendous fight.  Then today, another shitty day. *sigh*  I'm too tired to keep trying some days.

Anyhow, small update, more later when my butt doesn't hurt and I'm allowed to use the computer.